Once we have found out which areas of our life we wish to change to find balance then it’s a good idea to think through how we might change to help us achieve our goals.
Below are seven assumptions that can assist us,
1. We all have a part of ourselves that wants to be happy and fulfilled.
The process of change involves reawakening the healthy side and giving it hope.
2. There are several basic needs that will lead most of us to be happier if they are satisfied.
The need to relate and feel connected to other people; the need for independence and autonomy; the need to feel desirable; competent; successful; attractive ; worthwhile ; to be ‘good’ people among our peers; the need to express what we want and feel to others; the need for pleasure and fun; creativity- to pursue hobbies, and activities that gratify us; the need to help others to show concern and love.
3. People can change in very basic ways.
We know people can change in fundamental ways. However, we acknowledge changing core patterns is very difficult. Our childhood histories create strong obstacles to change and if we have had a difficult time we will have to work hard to make changes and more support will be needed from others. Be realistic and seek support.
4. To change we will need to make a conscious decision to do so.
Patterns of thinking feeling and behaving become ingrained in us and we need to make intentional and prolonged efforts to change them.
5. Most of us do our best to avoid pain.
We must be willing to face situations we have avoided much of our lives because we fear they will result in failure, rejection, or humiliation. We must commit ourselves to facing pain in order to change.
6. People are different and no one technique or approach to change will be successful for all people.
It is often necessary for therapists to combine many different strategies to help you change. Accept that it’s unlikely one approach will be successful.
7. We need to create a personal vision.
Look beyond eliminating the problems you are currently experiencing and instead look to an image of what will lead you finally to feel fulfilled, happy, and self -actualised. Its crucial for each of us to approach change in a strategic way, not haphazardly.